1. |
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2. |
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3. |
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4. |
still no sign of water
02:59
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we pull together or apart as time swerves on. once in a while i catch a glimpse of something peeking through- that you really do hate to see me this way. but mostly, your heated impartiality’s the only thing i’ve got as proof of how close i am to you.
people gaslight all the time and pretend they don’t. but mostly i’m afraid to try to inhabit the space of my thoughts with more body and reality than the misty translucence and diluted tones of hinting.
but in your eyes i can see the future projected: i always knew somehow, i’m just not right. though i’d love to sit with you and feel your contentment wash me over- over the too empty, somber, cold inner terrain i fearfully conjure
doubt drips into the scene and animates it fully, though the real thing in me i haven’t bothered to explore yet. what’s the use? we’re all safely locked away so we’ll never know. the body takes guts. no use trying- i can already anticipate a future visualized with the familiar painted spirit- the living dread of something i haven’t felt since high school.
part of me almost wants to feel it again; instead of these detached thoughts of you when i’m here in my room lying down or when we’re both around, all lit up by somebody else.
i’m sure people feel this way about me too, and i couldn’t care less. that’s why i deserve this mess. as much as i’d like to solidify, believe the feeling that everything and everyone else just falls away in the end, you’re just a catalyst for me to get more than just my feet moving. there are things i want that are good for me.
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5. |
sheepshead bay
03:34
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6. |
shy in jakarta
04:28
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7. |
coffee's between lives
02:19
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8. |
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9. |
i am outside
02:49
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