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support your local nihilist

by frances chang

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1.
my brother won't learn to drive i think deep down, metaphysically i do the same she told me she can see the spirit world i'm drawn and repelled i proudly walk the line between doubt and a wide open mind each time i wake up on neon clouds i ache to feel my feet on the ground
2.
i'm so happy i could cry i'm writing and music sounds good again and you're back in my life, i could cry all the more cause i know it's not forever it comes and it goes, the grace i succumb to sleeping in the middle of the heat my mind is wrinkled in worries what if you never feel like home ? is all the 'heaven' a distraction ? what if you don't forgive me? or even worse, if you do... will i be with you forever ? losing my crisp-edged center
3.
the top came off, it's all floating up all the horror and wild beauty of untamed raw dream material i worry about feeling untethered completely and how difficult it feels to connect at all secretly i won't stopper the hole with adolescent coping i blame the absence of smoking for the sudden lack of control at the bottom of it all
4.
escapism 03:44
how can i be safe in your lines? winning you would be losing you you’re unhaveable, the perfect excuse to escape to a place where nothing happens the waters are calm here you’re just chilling, mining my idealized eye perpetually wringed out, spent like after coffee i can’t see you, i don’t trust my eyes and besides all that’s truly visible is surfeit, what spills out like all these words i got to entertain us both can’t get beyond a game of catch. why’d I curse myself with you? line myself with you? tranquilize myself with you? realize that stuff with you?
5.
i know that when you gave up and dropped it with no sacredness ! i told you i couldn't recover but that's not true. it's three days later and i'm ready to forget you. love you hate me love you hate me hate you love me. i contain everything you want... everything you need i guess i meant it at the time that's what you say now but this thing with you brings out my nihilism. is anything real ?
6.
headless 03:07
there's everything where my head should be full bleed receptivity well everyone's got problems, don't they? all my problems staring back at me head melting into my hell i can deny, say it's alright but baby there's a lot of fire all around me i wanted it it's mine raining ire all around me lately i've cried at a couple of things cara on stage the other day no matter what is in the 3d the song has got its own life in the basement, suddenly my friends transformed into symbols a prophet and two priestesses the two guitars are like plants growing it's got that tru vibration i should just let myself cry without trying to hide it it ain't crazy to cry when something just hits it that truth vibration
7.
intimacy 03:24
i have faith i know our separateness is tenuous i'm not scared to admit ours was by far the realest, cause anytime i want i can fall in love i can swim in synergy, i can generate it if you disguised yourself to fit me how could i have known? what have i done how can i go on living in fantasy how shallow can i be ? there are more important things better ways to be a kid i will love everyone i've ever loved until the day i die
8.
full of dread, shivering full of love i dread full of love i dread i wanna be like the floating angel behind my screen behind my screen biking home, (biking home on the freezing) eating road full moon... full of love, pour it out, pour it out troubled by the future how i can't see it (pour it out, pour it out, ananke) how full this moment feels
9.
sitting in the yard in the middle of the night you're nowhere and i don't know a soul here everyone's walking round dressed to the nines breathing smoke i imagine my past self disembodied meditate staring at a statue tracing the cellular level my neurons packed with fear mend me niños, mother is dark and deep and green when i finally die my thoughts will have left their echo well i can dance it off, that's what the music is for i'll level up to avoid partnering up covered in sweat, radiating sexual demons i am what is left ~ still intact, all dark energy still glowing from the mystery a single spade ~ when i release layers mistaken for parts of me

about

"p much deranged" video ~ youtu.be/kl4Rr8xvq_Q?feature=shared

"support yr local nihilist" video~ youtu.be/yfzwfhY1Gko

"i quit cigs" video~ youtu.be/gLvVGJdNgmc

songs by frances chang
guitars and vocals recorded in my bedroom

produced by fc and hunter davidsohn

(tracks 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9)
additional recording and mixing by hunter davidsohn
at business district recordings, johnson city NY

(tracks 3, 8)
additional recording and mixing by andrea schiavelli
in his bedroom, queens NY

guitar, vocals, percussion, autoharp, optigan, computer synth - fc
bass, moog, wurlitzer, casio, drums, xylophone - hd
track 3 sax - carolyn hietter
track 5 drums - julian fader

mastered by sarah register

painting by rosie lopeman

credits

released July 22, 2022

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frances chang New York

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